15 Holiday Survival Tips for Navigating Interpersonal Challenges

Determine Your Needs - When considering what your needs are, first think what might this time look like if I felt I was thriving? If this is hard to tune into - consider what aspects of the next month are causing the most dread/discomfort - what about those pieces could be different?

Determine Your Wants - Thinking ahead, what do I want to feel and experience with my chosen family and/or family of origin? What do I want to give myself? If I were to feel fulfilled come January - what is would need to happen?

Topic Transitions - Consider ways you feel comfortable redirecting the conversation to less tense topics, as well as ways you can disengage and leave if you need to take some space. Practice these transitions with yourself or friends so it doesn't feel disjointed or awkward when the time comes to implement them.

Routine - Knowing that the holidays can turn many of our routines to utter chaos. Consider what parts of your day to day routines can be kept. Make a list of all the activities/routines you do that bring comfort and familiarity - star the ones that are achievable even in the chaos. Even teeth brushing and morning coffee/tea can be used to your advantage - tune into it as a care piece and mindfulness opportunity.

1-1 vs Group Time - which of the two require the least amount of effort? Are there certain people you'd like to ensure you get one on one time with? Is there a ratio of one on one - group activities/events you'd feel better with? Don't forget to schedule/plan for some solo time if needed/wanted!

Budget - This can be a really hard one to manage this time of year. Decide on an amount you feel comfortable spending on gifts, food and ancilliary costs, plus an amount that may be a buffer while keeping you within the limit you feel ok with. Just because we live in a capitalist society that emphasizes cost over thoughtfulness and time together, doesn't mean you have to acquiesce to it!

Food Considerations - Do you have food sensitivities, intolerances or a history of disordered eating - consider what prep would be most supportive. Does planning on bringing your own snacks help? What about a support person who can help shut down body based comments regarding food?

Soft landings - Soft landings are intended to provide you space to decompress after harder moments. Set time aside after big events/activities to check in with yourself and decompress as needed/wanted.

Thinking beyond the holiday season - Are you someone who loves being around people? If so it may be worth planning social connections past the first week of January so that the social events drop off is a slope not a cliff! If you lean more towards solo time as a preference, what does a sustainable holiday season look like without over-extending? Also consider taking a few extra days to recover/recuperate as brain chemistry from being more social re-calibrates.

Self Compassion - You're human! Even if you go in with everything planned and feeling confident, there may be some surprises that come up and mean your coping strategies don't work as well. That's ok! You're doing the best you can with the tools you have and learning new things that feel tough isn't inherently a bad thing.

Sensory Planning - what sensory experiences are the hardest for you? Consider what you might be able to do to address those proactively.

Recovery - Some of you are sober by choice, others by necessity. Are there people, events, or circumstances in the next month or so that you know are triggers and/or could risk your sobriety? If so what support/risk reduction strategies do you usually use? Do you think they are effective enough? What areas might their be support gaps? Who do you want to loop in as a contact person?

Self Care - Beyond all of the above - what ways do I want to care for myself during the holiday season? Are there care commitments I want to make to myself?

Boundaries & Requests- Now that all of the above is covered. What boundaries or requests do you want/need to make of loved ones? What method of communicating the boundaries/requests feels the easiest?

Proactive Communication - What boundaries, wants, needs, requests etc do I want to communicate to people I will be seeing proactively? Think solo time, sensory accommodations etc.